Everyone Sees the List
During my promotional journey, my agency would send out a department wide email with the list of everyone who took the promotional exam and the order in which they ranked. Written score, oral board score, and extra points for longevity, all on display.
In my first attempt at sergeant, I placed 56th out of about 125. Only about 15 would be promoted from that list. All that studying, and it would be two years before I could test again. I had effectively failed the process, and everyone knew it.
I have met officers who never tested, or who delayed testing, because they feared the public humiliation of performing poorly. I understand it. That fear is not irrational. Most agencies either publicly display the list or it makes its way around. One way or the other, people are going to see it, and some of them will talk about it.
Here is what I can tell you about that experience.
It was a bummer. I walked into work knowing that everyone I passed in the hallway had seen exactly where I landed. I was embarrassed and felt stuck. All my forward career momentum came to a halt. There was no version of that morning that felt good.
But I survived. I went back and tested again. And again. And again. It took four attempts before I made sergeant, which means my name sat on that list in a place I did not want it three separate times before it landed where I needed it to.
The officers who eventually promote are not the ones who avoided the risk of a bad list. They are the ones who took it, prepared harder, and came back with a better score.
Years later, I was able to put this experience in perspective. The list comes out. People see it. By the next week, something else happens and that list becomes old news. And more importantly, no one was focused on me. They had their own lives to contend with. It is just noise to be ignored.
You cannot promote from a list you were never on.
This piece first ran in The Edge, my newsletter for law enforcement professionals. Subscribers get it first.
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